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English 360 Grammar help:
OWL -
Purdu University Resources for Water: Food and Water
Watch Resources for Elections: Vote 411 Writer's Corner ENGLISH 360, FALL, 2008, Hanford Center, COS
This Writer’s Corner is for student essays from our English 360, Fall, 2008 class. Here, we will all learn from each other. I may add a few essays not from class, but all will be useful for learning about writing.
Directions: Unless other instructions are given in class, please pay attention to the following items when you read these paragraphs: 1) topic sentence, 2) support of topic sentence, 3) any transitions, and, 4) sentence variety. Soon, we will add other things we need to observe when reading and writing paragraphs. Use the checklist to guide your observations.
Note: No names and no grades are posted. Please notice editing and comments or questions from me. Also, sometimes, I may show an example (or ask about) this writing, so please take the time to study these. We will learn from all of them.
FOLDER #1: Paragraph #1: Final draft (all steps done!) turned in September 5, 2008
Checklist: Illustration paragraph (9-5-08) ________ 1. Is it a paragraph? (not an essay of multiple paragraphs) ________ 2. Does it have a clear topic sentence (for an illustration type of topic; v. ex. in ch. 2) ________ 3. Does the paragraph use transition words & phrases typical for an illustration type of paragraph? (v. p. 51) ________ 4. Are all the pieces clipped together in the correct order? (the most recent on top, etc.) ________ 5. Is it typed according to format requirements (12 pt, font, margins, top right info, etc.) ________ 6. Editing. Does the pre-final draft show a lot of handwritten editing so you can see the proofreading changes & improvements? (spelling, caps, word forms, punctuation, grammatical corrections & changes, etc) ________ 7. Revising. Does the 1st draft show revising -- adding and subtracting details, rearrangement of ideas, adding of transitions, etc. that revising includes? ________ 8. Acknowledgments. Does the paper include a section entitled “Acknowledgments,” which gives credit to anyone and everyone who helped in the writing process as well as specifying exactly how these persons helped? (Include your source, too.) ________ 9. Word count & source. Does the final draft include the word count & source of the at the top of the page? (e.g. WORD COUNT = ________ ) (SOURCE: _______) ________ 10. Steps in process. Are all pages dated and labeled so it is clear which step each is in the writing process? (free writing or brainstorming, 1st draft, etc.) Are times included if more than one piece was written on a given day?) ________ 11. Planning / outline. Is there an outline that shows the planning step? ________ 12. Peer review page. Is the peer review page (written carefully by a classmate) included in the correct place with all the other pieces submitted? ________ 13. Your comments. Is there a note to the instructor with your comments, questions, problems, etc. about this assignment?
Essay 1: No title ?
There are three reasons I am inspired to vote for Barack Obama. He fully believes in the children of the United States, better health care, and what Barack has fought for is historical. As I listened to Michelle Obama make her speech, she spoke about her husband and related her family to a typical family in America. "Barack was raised by a single parent in Hawaii and now he's going all the way to the white house," Michelle announced. Once Michelle said that I right away thought that if this man started off like an average American then anyone is capable of pursing there dreams. In Michelle Obama's speech she had mentioned that Barack wants to make sure that every child has a world class education starting from kindergarten to college. Michelle also talked about healthcare, she said that Barack is going for better health care even mental health care.
They are supporting better benefits, and want's the economy to lift every family. They believe that the American dream endures. Michelle mentioned what Barack had already done for America. She said that he made sure that women get equal pay for equal work, he also wants to finally end the war and bring home our troops.
Source: KPFA (not specific enough) ? ? ?
Acknowledgments: I would like to thank classmate _________ for helping me with the peer review, and my sister ______ for reading over my paragraph. I would also like to thank spell check.
Comments: Is the topic sentence clear? If not, how would you suggest the writer improve this in his/her essay? Write a new topic sentence. 2nd Q: which sentences support the topic sentence? What other ways can this writer improve his/her essay? What other questions do you have for the writer? State them clearly.
Essay 2: No title ? I believe that your vote should be for Obama so that he can fix the main problems in the U.S. These problems are the most important to the U.S. He will fix the economy by giving the tax breaks to companies that stay here and keep the jobs. Then by having these jobs there will be less people without jobs. The jobs he will be making wend fix the world. He wants to have cars made that are green, these plants that make these will stay here and make five million jobs on making green cars to fight glow warming. He will want to stop depending on oil from the east. This will stop the war and bring the troops home. He wants to make sure that every kid has a good education. To bring teachers and rise there pay and rise the standards. He wants to make college affordable for everyone, this way there will be more people going to college. He wants to help people to receive a better education. Then they will get the jobs they dream about. People working will put money in the economy and make it grow. All this is fixing the world in many ways to help the U.S.
I want to thank ______________ for her practical suggestions during the peer review.
Comments: : Is the topic sentence clear? If not, how would you suggest the writer improve this in his/her essay? Write a new topic sentence. 2nd Q: which sentences support the topic sentence? What other ways can this writer improve his/her essay? What other questions do you have for the writer? State them clearly.
Essay 3: No title ?
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